Relationships: An update

Okay, maybe I should’ve renamed the title ‘an update of my single life,’ but why not throw in a bit of imagination… right?

The fact is, yes I’m still single, and yes I’m still happy blogging about it. But I’ve recently been thinking about how I deal with being single, rather than how it feels.

I’m one of ‘those’ singles who actually likes it. I like my alone time as it is, so being single is like second nature to me. No, that’s not sarcastic as much as it sounded. Rather, I find it rewarding. A way in which I can find out more about myself, before anyone else finds out those parts of me. A space for me to grow, before I have the opportunity to grow with someone else.

But how do I deal with being single? Honestly, not very well. I’m ‘that’ single (yes, I used that phrase again), that would rather act like they don’t care. Someone of the opposite sex showing any type of interest in me? I shut them off. Someone of the opposite sex tries to make effort with me? I shut them off even more. I don’t know if it’s because I’m stubborn, afraid of feelings, would rather be ‘sassy’ like I don’t care; or a mix of all three.

I don’t know if I’ve developed feelings for anyone anymore because I am so used to getting let down. I hate letting my walls down for someone, so I simply don’t do it anymore. I make life hard work, for myself and for the other person, that in the end it just simply isn’t worth it. I’m too stubborn for my own good sometimes, and really don’t take feelings or anything seriously anymore. That may have something to do with past experiences (*cough, cough*), but hey, my life motto at the moment seems to go something like, “Who knows?”

When the right person comes along, and puts up with my stubborn behaviour, then great. Maybe it’s meant to be. Maybe I’m playing a game that isn’t fair, or maybe I’m simply playing myself out of potential relationships. Who knows? I guess I’ll update you if anything interesting happens; but until then, here’s to being stubborn and being single. Maybe I’ll change one day for someone who deserves it.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Being happy and single

I’ve been wanting to write a post like this for so long. After the amazing feedback from my ‘why I’m happy and confident being single’ post, I decided to elaborate more on my own experiences of single life and why I’m happy just as I am.

Being single can be a tricky thing. I have friends who physically hate being single, and that’s totally fine. We all handle break ups and relationships in general differently.

From my experience, I’m happy being single because it has given me room to grow. I recently touched on this post in my ‘A reflection on relationships’ post. I have never been one to ever ‘seek’ a relationship, because I simply don’t need one. I find my own independence in my own space on my own, and I find myself more comfortable that way sometimes.

Honestly, my relationship status right now is 100% dedicated to me, and me only. That’s not in a selfish way- but more of a self development way. I have just come out of college from studying A Levels, and I have this whole crazy world right in front of me that I am so eager to explore by myself.

At this point in my life, I couldn’t imagine a relationship so I sort of count my lucky stars that I am single all in all. I am 18 years old. I am still young. Sure, life passes quickly, but you also have to live your life for yourself sometimes. I truly respect those who are in a committed relationship at my age, because I am super busy now as it is- never mind with a relationship as well.

This is a post to demonstrate that being single is totally okay and healthy, just like being in a relationship can be. I acknowledge that a lot of people find it hard being single, but use this as a time to grow in yourself. I have begun to learn the hard way that your longest commitment is yourself only so you may as well cherish this life.

When I am meant to be in a relationship again, it will happen. My friends often try to set me up with some guy, or ask about someone I will be speaking to at the time; but none of it appeals to me right now. I always wondered what type of ‘relationship’ person I am. Whether me only getting into my first relationship at 17 was a reflection of me being a ‘late bloomer’ and ‘ugly’ or if it was more because I was picky. I have realised that I am picky, and that’s totally okay too.

Relationships are human nature, and of course we all get into them now and again. But in the ‘interval’ sections as I will name it, I have found that looking after yourself and exploring life is extremely rewarding. Plus, it means you can tick things off your bucket list.

Life life for yourself. Whether that’s being single, or in a relationship. I don’t know the main meaning of this post, but I think it may be something to do with me trying to get my head around if it’s normal to be this happy and calm being single. I have now discovered that it’s totally okay.

Love and happiness always,
xo, Becca

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I’m happy and confident being single

I have been meaning to write a post a bit like this for a while, about my whole view of being newly single, why I’m totally happy being single, and why being single has actually turned out to be extremely beneficial to me as a person.

Ever since I’ve been single, I feel like it’s helped me in finding myself and finding who I am. Obviously this can be done in relationships too, but the independent time to myself has been healing and probably the best thing that could’ve happened to me at this moment in time.

In fact, I have been told by some of the closest people in my life that I seem to have ‘blossomed’ in the past couple of months after becoming single. I seem to be a lot more confident, happy, empowered and liberated and that’s down to me deciding to take control of my life and do better.

I’m young, and I’m happy living my life at 18 and finding myself in the process. For someone who spends so much time putting others before her own health, it’s been extremely liberating for me to bounce back and be a developed product of the person I was 4 months ago. 

Overall, bring single has enabled me to concentrate on myself without having to think about another person whom I am in a relationship with. As much as I love being in relationships, being single equally has it’s benefits. I’ve had space to think, and to finally do everything that I’ve wanted to for so long.

This includes things I said that I would do whilst in my last relationship. I’m now taking control of my anxiety. I finally plucked up the courage to go to the doctors and seek help and am now waiting for my ‘cognitive behavioral therapy’ counselling sessions. I have been able to start travelling again which included going to Leeds for the #BloggersBlogAwards. I am going back to London in December and March and I am comfortable in myself in the first time in probably forever.

It’s given me time and space to think, reflect and regroup. As much as my friends are trying to be my ‘wing women’ and find me someone again… I personally don’t want it. I am the happiest in my own independent space and looking after myself and my health comes first and foremost. It’s helped me take a step back and think about things in depth. It’s completely slowed my hectic life down, and helped me control myself. It’s helped me become the person I’ve wanted to become for so long. Blossoming. 

I mean, Beyoncé wrote a whole song about being single and happy… so it can’t be that bad.

So hi, being single isn’t a bad thing, just like neither is being in a relationship. It is all about personal preference for the individual at that time. And for now? Honestly, my mingling days are back whilst looking after myself at the same time. I’m happy. I’m becoming healthier. I’m doing everything I promised I would do whilst I was in my last relationship- just doing it being single. And I am extremely liberated and empowered.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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