My life philosophy

Who I am. What I’m about. Who I’m becoming. If you’ve been following my blog for the past 3 months, you may have heard me refer to my life philosophy. A philosophy that consists on me being a good, nice, genuine person and never wavering from that goal.

My life philosophy isn’t achievable automatically though. I have to make mistakes, do wrong, and work on those mistakes to help make myself a better person. I’ve done things over the past 4 months especially I wish I’d done it differently. But I’m not perfect, but who I am, and who I’m becoming is still the same.

I am also a big believer in forgiveness and being humble. It’s certainly not as easy said as done when someone hurts you immensely, or when someone tries to argue with you and I feel the need to be passive. I would rather live my life being passive and humble to the world around me, rather than anything else. I’m not a big believer in “drama,” and never have been. I understand some people enjoy drama and gossip, but it’s just not me. I would rather keep my distance and exist in my own happy lil bubble- as I call it anyway.

I feel like I’m a hard person to understand. I’m complicated. Sometimes me being different can be a good thing, and other times it can scare me. “What if people think I’m fake?” I’m constantly surrounded by “what if’s” when it comes to my life, and with the fear of people not understanding my life philosophy.

But when you simplify it, all I want to be and become is a good, nice, genuine person who puts others first. As idealistic as it may sound, that’s just who I am. That’s my personality and how I’m programmed and that’s who I’m proud of. As much as people may hate me for it, this is me. Everything you’re reading regarding my life philosophy is me. I’m Becca and I just so happen to thrive off caring for others immensely and from always trying to do the right thing for the benefit of those I love most around me.

My life philosophy helps keep me on track and is extremely important to me. When it comes to other people, their perceptions and how they view me is a fundamental part of shaping who I am. Although I shouldn’t be worried about how people see me, my life philosophy keeps me focused on who I am. I understand that not everyone will understand me, and I’m pretty sure there are people out there who hate my guts. But I know who I am, and that has especially got me through the past couple of weeks. After hearing about someone’s false perception of who I am I suddenly realised, “You know what? I know who I am and that’s all that maters.”

I don’t normally get mad at myself for trying to be good to people. I know and understand that some people are reluctant to forgive, and be kind to others even if they’re not kind back. However, that’s their fault. You can’t put your own genuine personality on the line for someone else who doesn’t appreciate you. Stay true to who you are and everything you’re about, someone (somewhere) accepts and loves that about you.

That’s my life philosophy. The idea that I will always strive to have the best intentions of others at heart, to forgive and not hold grudges, to see both sides of the argument, and be nice and kind to others always. That doesn’t make me naive because I have recently cut out people in my life who are and were toxic to me. But I don’t hate them, and I never could. I do forgive them, but I also know what’s best for me. Live life to the fullest, as much as we may say it- we do truly only live once. “Make this life the best it can be.” Stay humble, always.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Don’t apologise for who you are



This seems like such a bold statement, and in some ways, it is. You are a human being, and you shouldn’t be defined by expectations. Embrace your uniqueness and quirkiness and don’t apologise to anyone who puts that down.

Embrace who you are, and who you’re becoming. It’s such a learning process, and it deserves to be shouted about- not neglected. I am not for one minute suggesting that you shouldn’t apologise for malicious actions of wrongdoing- that’s a whole other topic. 

When it comes down to it, if everyone was the same the world would be so boring. I feel as though we seem to make this point all the time, but it’s incredibly accurate. We live in a world with a mixture of wonderful human beings. Each with their own unique souls and traits. For one quality you hold, someone else lacks and vise versa. I don’t know about you, but that makes your qualities you do hold even more special. There’s no one else like you in this world. 

And if someone makes you apologise for who you are, then make them apologise. Make them apologise for making you feel any less than worthy of existing in your own skin. If someone tells you to stop laughing, laugh harder. If someone asks you why you’re always happy, throw your positive vibes in their face. For every one thing that someone dislikes about you, someone else adores. You’re pretty rad, I’ll give you that. 

There will always be people that may dislike you, and that’s okay. You could be the kindest, most compassionate person, and still have people dislike you and what you’re about. Let them. Use that as motivation to be yourself even more. You are who you are, and if anyone shames that, then they are not worth your precious time. If someone doesn’t give you the time of day to flaunt your incredible personality, then that’s their loss. For someone who constantly lets people’s false perceptions of myself get to me, I’ve realised it’s not worth it. Find enough confidence within yourself to tell yourself, “I’m actually a pretty decent human being.”  (You’re most likely right with that point).

When it comes to myself, I often apologise for who I am and for things which are simply out of my control. I have slowly began to realise that I simply shouldn’t.

I am at a point in my own self right now where I am confident and happy in who I am, and who I’m becoming most importantly. My little life philosophy consists of simply being a good, nice person, and I will never apologise for that. I’ve set myself personal goals of who I want to be, and what I want to achieve; and although I may fail at that sometimes, the ambition never wavers. I am who I am. And I am who I’m becoming.

On the mental health side of things, I shouldn’t have to apologise for that either. I shouldn’t have to and will not apologise for having a panic attack, or high anxious moments because it happens. It’s out of my control, and it can’t be helped.

Overall, ‘you’ is pretty amazing. Wear it. Flaunt it. Shout it from the roof tops. Strive to do better and be better, but don’t apologise in the process. You are totally fine and wonderful exactly as you are and that deserves to be reminded more. I’m not some girl saying this for the sake of it. It genuinely upsets me how many glorious people are around who simply don’t realise it. That one is for you reading this. I believe there is good in everyone, and that includes you.

Just because the colour shade your wearing is different to someone else’s, doesn’t make you any less important or your ‘colour’ any less spectacular. 

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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When I die…


From the title, you may be expecting this to be a ‘dark’ and ‘depressing’ post. However, this is going to be the total opposite (I hope!)

I always like to think about how I live my life- and with that comes the legacy I leave behind. Will anyone turn up to my funeral? Will people continue to talk bad about me? Will my friends still be my friends?

I guess all these shouldn’t matter; I mean, I’ll be dead… why am I so bothered about the ‘legacy’ I leave behind when I die? But I’m an over thinker. In the words of Aleissa Cara, “I think I think too much.” I guess me worrying about what will happen to me when I die is one of those ‘thinking too much’ moments.

At the end of the day, all I want to do is love the best life than I can. I seem to say this in so many of my blog posts; but if I am nothing but kind, compassionate, happy and healthy then I have successfully lived a good life.

If anything, I want my legacy to be change. I sometimes even worry about this concept because it’s something that’s so hard to achieve. So many people in this world want to make a change, but don’t quite get there. I don’t want to have ‘nearly’ achieved change, I want to do it and me enough influence in this world to achieve just that.

Maybe it’s unrealistic, but if I impact positively on even just one person’s life then I’m pretty happy. All I am to do is be there for people, and I really do thrive off that. I don’t find it exhausting, rather a way for me to help others and just be there.

I hope that I live a long and happy life whilst helping others along the way. I hope that the people who left my life make their way back to me in the end. I hope that I die knowing that I’m proud of all my life accomplishments. I hope I die having experienced real love and having the most amazing friends and family still surround me. I hope I die happy that in the end, everything in my life worked out just how it was meant to.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Want 20% off your order at Coconut-Lane? Use the code ‘beccajayne20’ at the checkout to redeem…. go on! Why not treat yourself?

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Connect:

Twitter: @beccaxjayne

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Bloglovin’: Click here to never miss a blog post from me!

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Life is what you make it



“Life is what you make it” is the type of philosophy I have based my life around at the moment. I have began to realise that if I want to do something, I should just do it because nothing is stopping me from doing what I want with my own life. Whether that’s getting a tattoo I’ve wanted for so long, cutting out people in my life who simply aren’t good for me, or even dancing like the world will never end because guess what? I can and I will.

“So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.”

In my experience, life is too short to not live it to the fullest. To live it ‘loving’ someone you no longer love, and alternately, ‘not loving’ someone you want to love. Forget judgement and constraints. There really is no such word as ‘I can’t’ if you put your mind to it.

Let’s put it this way, if you want something, reach for it and get it. Don’t stop until you get what you deserve. I have recently realised that you can’t make someone want or miss you, or even force someone to stay in your life. But you can make your intentions clear. Say things before it’s too late or before you regret it, you never know what could happen tomorrow. Why wait?

I’ve recently become intrigued by Rupi Kaur’s collection of poetry, Milk and Honey. One of my most favourite pieces from this book states that, “don’t mistake salt for sugar. If he wants to be with you, he will. It’s that simple.” If you want to be with someone, you’ll find a way. You’ll find a way to think about what’s actually right for you. And you’ll get there if it’s meant to happen.

And above all else? Have fun, and live your life. Wear what you want, smile. Laugh like it’s the only thing you know how to do. Don’t let anyone put you down for whatever makes you happy. If catching Pokemon, playing video games or looking at the sky makes you happy then embrace that above all else. Love like it’s the only thing in this world you know how to. Put your time and energy into the people who mean the most to you regardless of the past. Aim for your goals, and don’t stop until you achieve them. Be the best person you can be, and be happy and healthy.

From today, I will have no regrets. If I end up falling for someone again, I’ll tell them. I’ll be happy in rekindling lost relationships and meeting new people and discovering new wonders of life. I certainly will not let societal expectations stop me from living my life I want, or stop me from saying things to people who I love the most. There’s no point spending your life surrounded by people who make you feel less than you deserve, and neglecting those who would give you the world.

And because life is what I make it, I have recently discovered how amazing writing poetry, and writing in general can be. It opens up so many doors to my thoughts and feelings, so here’s a small section of something I recently wrote. I have no shame in my feelings and I have no shame in making something beautiful out of a painful situation that had emotionally killed me.

That’s the thing. I had to let you go. I had to push my desires aside and let you live. Let you experience life and love without me. Let you heal. Because at the end of the day, all I wanted was for you to be happy. I’ll always love and care. But I had to let go and disappear. And whoever comes along and loves you more than I did do? That’s competition. But cherish her. Because that’s a number bigger than all infinities. 

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Want 20% off your order at Coconut-Lane? Use the code ‘beccajayne20’ at the checkout to redeem…. go on! Why not treat yourself?

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Twitter: @beccaxjayne

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Why I chose to revamp my life

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Life is funny isn’t it? We spend our lives being our own individual self with our own personalities, likes and dislikes. A couple of months ago especially, was when I decided it was time to revamp my life and give myself a new perspective on life in general.

I decided that it was time for a change- and that includes a change in myself and my mindset. I’ve always been quite a sensitive person, but I’d like to think that over the past month or so; I have slowly formed a ‘thicker skin’ and not let things get to me as much as they used to. Of course, I still get hurt and upset about some things; but certainly not as much as I used to. I’m so glad that I’m at a point where I’m so confident in myself, that other perceptions of me simply don’t matter anymore.

I always used to look at people and be like, “How can I be as confident as you? Why can’t I have no insecurities and be like the ‘confident’ people?” In fact, I read this from one of my diary entries from January of this year when I was feeling low one night. I soon realised that the only person who can be in charge of my self confidence is me. Fast forward nearly 8 months and I have never been so confident and empowered in my own body. Considering I hated looking at myself in the mirror three months ago (sounds like a cliche, but trust me it was bad), I am at a point now where I’m happy to go swimming because my body is my own and I’m super proud of it.

When it comes to communicating with people in general, I love it. I thrive off meeting new people, and making new friends. I realised that I not only want to surround myself with people, but positive influences in my life. That meant separating myself from people who are simply toxic and who I don’t need around me. Trust me, having the strength to do that is the best decision I ever made. I now have the bestest friends I could ever wish for in my life (personal shoutout to Caitlin, Richard, Chloe, Myah, Alex, Callum, Jess, Georgia, Koryn and co; you all know who you are). I’m also constantly adding new amazing people into my life, and it’s so uplifting to have people who accept me, for me. 

When I say I couldn’t be happier with my life at the moment, I mean it. I am so overwhelmed with my progress and how much work I have mentally put in to be this happy and calm. And why I chose to revamp my life? Because I soon began to realise that my life is my own, and no one else’s. I am my own longest commitment at the end of the day; so why not make my life the best it can be? I want to be nothing but kind and compassionate to others. I want to forgive, but not be naive. I want to be proud of the person I’m becoming, and I want to keep doing better and being better.

So what’s next for me? The simple answer is, I don’t know. But I know that I will continue to be the best person I can be. I don’t care how cliche that sounds, but I have realised over the past few months that I can be whoever I want to be, and even though my personal goals may change again in another few months, where I am now is the best place I’ve ever been.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

————————-

Want 20% off your order at Coconut-Lane? Use the code ‘beccajayne20’ at the checkout to redeem…. go on! Why not treat yourself?

————————-
Connect:

Twitter: @beccaxjayne

Instagram: itsbeccajayne

Snapchat: itssbeccajayne

Bloglovin’: Click here

Facebook: Positive Plxnt

Feel free to drop me a tweet etc xo