Embrace your quirks


I don’t know. Has anyone else felt as though you constantly live in someone else’s shadows? Like you are not your own ‘wonderful’ human being while you’re around them, but simply there for their own self rather than considering you?

There was a time when I lived every day of my life like this. Like I felt as though I wasn’t worthy of being my own human being because I figured everyone saw as little in me as I viewed in myself. Now, this isn’t going to be a soppy and depressing blog post, but rather something that triggered in my mind while I was awake in the early hours of yesterday morning.

The fact is, we all have are own space in this world whether we realise it or not. I’m a strong believer in the idea that we were all put on this earth for a reason, and we are all worthy of living. I find it upsetting how many people view themselves as worthless when they could simply be some of the most amazing people that this world has to offer.

I have recently had a glimpse of what it felt like to feel like I was living in someone else’s shadow again. Like they are in the centre of the universe while everyone else is kinda just… there. It’s upsetting, and it’s certainly toxic to my own mind to get feelings of such worthlessness.

I think the whole point of this blog post is to simply remind people to be kind and considerate of others. To acknowledge the fact that everyone is quirky in their own way and that no one should deserve to be mocked or ridiculed for how they are. Sure, there are some people that you simply aren’t going to like in this world, and there’s most probably a bunch of people who dislike me.

But the fact of the matter is that no one is worthless, and no one should be made to feel that way. We are all equals whether we like it or not. Whether that is based on race, gender, religion etc or even our personalities. Someone who makes crappy jokes and dances for no reason is just as worthy as someone who chooses a different sort of lifestyle.

Remind yourself, and especially remind others, that it’s each others quirkiness that make us human. We all seem to say this a lot, but it really would be boring if we were all the same. Embrace it and flaunt it. As much as I am trying to embrace my quirky moments, there are times where I feel like I’m being mocked and ridiculed for them. Judgement can really be a painful thing, don’t be the person who is the main contributor to that pain.

Love and happiness always,
xo, Becca

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Every passing thought


I am currently sat in a coffee shop (once again) staring at my blank notes on my laptop and trying to come up with a blog post in which i can express every radical and deep thought that surrounds my head at this moment in time.

I think one of the things that I have always been most scared of is judgement. The idea that I will never be good enough for anyone, and that I will occasionally be open to scrutiny and not find a way out from it.

When I write endless blog posts about how I am me, or about how I have grown as a person, I do it as more of my own personal reflection of who I’m becoming and I’m proud of it. I’m proud of the fact that people can now presume I’m ‘this and that,’ and I will honestly take no notice of it because I know who I am.

I occasionally like to reflect on self confidence and wow, this is something I still can’t believe is real. I was always one of those people who wished people would be more confident in themselves because there are so many genuinely beautiful people in this world who simply don’t see that, but never told myself the same thing. I can’t tell you how many times I used to purposely avoid mirrors because I physically couldn’t accept who I was.

In fact, it was only last week on a night out that I wore a short body con dress that I would’ve never imagined wearing 5 months ago. i feel like I’m going on a preachy tangent, but I am extremely emotional right now and would cry into my cold brew that is sat next to me but the only thing left is the sugar at the bottom. Typical.

Maybe we all have our own unique space in this world and we don’t see it. Maybe fate works in weird and wonderful ways. Maybe our friends are our friends to make us who we are. Maybe our ex relationships are our hurtful past to in fact, make us stronger. Maybe the people who drift in and out of our lives is the worlds way of telling us to make the most of people in our lives while they’re here.

I often look up at the sky and think all these things. I mean, I’m only eighteen yeas old. I’m young. I have so much more of life to experience, yet it all seems to make sense to me at the moment… in a jumbled sort of way. I probably have another 5,000 relationship break-ups to come my way, and god knows how many jobs until I find the one that seems to suit me best. But instead of thinking about boys, or relationships I look up at the sky and think about life. And people. And how my life is just beginning, and how excited I am to see what’s next in store for me.

The fact is, I’m an avid thinker. I am looking round this coffee shop right now and thinking about people’s lives. About how they manage to pay bills, or mortgages, or even student finances. At the moment, i don’t have to worry about that. But at the end of the day, maybe that doesn’t matter. if you have no money now, trust fate to work everything out. Maybe I’m naive. But maybe living is simply the only fundamental part to life.

I can’t write poetry. I physically can’t. i always sit there and write poems about heartbreak and about how sad I may be feeling one night. I can’t rhyme to save my life. None of it really flows, but for some reason, I still want to publish a book full of ‘bad poetry.’ Nothing has to be perfect, though. Not even my own writing. Gosh, my blog is full of rambling posts about life and I think I fluff my writing too much. But my bad poetry makes me, me. My dodgy blind eye makes me, me. My mistakes make me, me.

This is an insight into my head and my thoughts. In fact, I’m thinking about texting my best friend back right now because I accidentally forgot to this morning and now I am worrying about how she is. Maybe I care too much about the small things, but sometimes they’re the best things to live for. Like laughing until you can’t physically breathe. Sitting in a coffee shop for two hours writing about life. Spending time with friends. Looking up at the sky, and trees, and nature. Let your life live in itself.

Love and happiness always,
xo, Becca

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A reflection on relationships


I am currently sat in a coffee shop huddled in the corner looking at 4 walls.

I feel so comfortable in whatever blurts out from my head so I guess this is going to be a post about something which has been whirling round in my life since June. Something which I have alluded to in a lot of my blog posts, but in which I have never openly come out and talked about in detail.

In some ways, this is my break-up letter. Even though, who writes letters anymore anyway? This is more of a letter of happiness, rather than sadness. I’m done with the whole ‘crying until I fall asleep’ and ‘sleeping in the day just to pass time’ type of emotion which my break-up brought me.

In fact, this is a thank you. A thank you to my break-up. Without it, I don’t think I would be in such a good place right now. I feel like I always get reminded that it’s the hard times that make us human, or that the hard times shape us into who we are today… and this couldn’t be more true today. Sure, there are worse things in life that go on other than break-ups; but they still hurt and they still suck.

I feel like songs constantly talk about break-ups with either emotions of sadness and despair, or the message that says “HEY I HATE MY EX AND THAT’S THAT.” I don’t think I have ever heard a song for a long time that looks back on a break-up with gratitude. I don’t know, does that still make me human? The fact that I’m grateful for someone I once loved leaving me?

Break-ups can bring so many negatives. In many ways, you ask yourself if you really are worthy to let someone into your life and feel loved by another soul again. It’s that stage where you feel utter despair and hopelessness- and I hope to never experience a break-up again in all honesty.

Do I regret my ex relationship? No. I think if I did, I wouldn’t have had the ability to grow or learn. I mean, that’s what relationships are; a sort of journey and hopefully at some point, that journey ends and you’ll settle with someone for the rest of your life. I often look at my parents and admire their relationship. After 19 years of being together, they are still in love and they hardly argue. I hope one day that can be me, but for now I’m just living for the present.

I have never been the sort of person to ‘seek’ a relationship. The idea of me being single totally appeals to me, and I am so happy being independent and single; or independent and in a relationship. But I look back on 2016 and wow, what a learning process it has been. I sure as hell cried a lot, but now those tears have turned into tears of joy and genuine happiness. Into someone who managed to find herself again.

This isn’t a letter of hate, that emotion doesn’t even come into my head anymore when i think of my past relationship. I would rather use this as an opportunity to reflect and be thankful. My break-up made me stronger. It allowed me to grow as an individual and do things I never imagined I would. For instance, my blog was straight up created as a way for me to heal through my break-up. And now, I can proudly say that I have healed. I have healed in more ways than I ever thought I would.

Let like work itself out how it does. Maybe my break-up was a way of the world showing me that I was a lot stronger than I ever thought I was. No matter how many times I get told by the people around me that I am one of the strongest people they’ve ever met, I never used to believe it. Now however, I believe that I am strong enough to conquer anything. Not just break-ups, but my high functioning anxiety that comes with it.

To my ex, thank you. I genuinely hope you’re as happy as I am right now. This isn’t a dig. Or hatred. This is a simple thank you. I hope one day everything I told you about yourself will soon make sense. Find your own potential and just feel alive.

Love and happiness always,
xo, Becca

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You are your home


This is a concept that I have reflected upon a lot recently, and something which has only just made sense over the past month or so. I am a strong believer in putting yourself first, and something I always seem to live by is the idea that you are your home. (Shoutout to the beauty that is Orion Carloto for inspiring this very concept).

If you haven’t guessed already, this whole concept is an analogy. The idea that when all else fails, you’ve got to be the one to pick yourself up when your falling if no one else is around to help. Just like you neuter and look after a home, you are your own home and your number one priority.

Funnily enough, I am actually debating whether or not to have this as my next tattoo. It’s something which seems to relate to me on such an emotional level, and it couldn’t be more true. I have begun to make myself a priority, and it’s one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Nowadays, it seems like we spend our lives beating ourselves up over ‘not being good enough’ or ‘pretty enough’ when the reality of it all is that we are all good enough- especially for ourselves.

I can’t sit here and say that I still don’t have days when I feel totally worthless and simply not good enough for this world. But I find comfort in bringing myself back to reality and realising that it’s okay to be quirky. It’s okay to consider my own feelings first, and accept myself for who I am. I recently did a whole blog post on this idea entitled This is Me’ if you want to give it a browse.

To be honest with you, I am the sort of person who beats herself up about every little thing. I pin point everything wrong with me and completely spiral myself out of control. It’s really not healthy. I have began to realise, however, that I am me and I can put others first at the same time as making myself a priority. At the end of the day, you really are your own longest commitment. When my own ‘safe place’ left months ago, I was the only one who could pick myself up and bounce back stronger.

Take a deep breath and realise that you are enough. You are worthy of so much love, and it’s completely healthy to tell yourself that sometimes. When you fall, bounce back stronger. Making myself a priority is the best thing I ever did. It has enabled me to look after myself and get to a stage where I’m happy and healthy again.

You are your own home, cherish it. Find a home in yourself before you let others step into it.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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This is me.


So I have a confession, yes a confession. Who I am is something which I reflect upon a lot and is something I’ve alluded to in a lot of my previous blog posts. Honestly, I seem to beat myself up for who I am all the time, and it’s not fair on myself. Rather, I should just learn to embrace my quirkiness and not give myself such a hard time constantly.

I’m the sort of person that is naturally annoying. I really dislike that about myself, and get so incredibly paranoid over ‘being annoying’ and ‘unwanted.’ I think it’s because I constantly got told it all the time at one particular stage in my life, and it’s just stuck with me. Regardless of what anyone else says, I still believe I am the most annoying person on this planet…. but hey ho we all move on.

I’m the sort of person who would stay up until 2am to check you were okay. The sort of person who puts their own self on the line for the benefit of others. I guess that can be a bad thing for my own mental health, but regardless I like to put others first.

I’m the sort of person who thinks too much about the world, and life in general. That’s mainly why I created my blog. I’m an avid thinker. I spend my life thinking, reflecting learning. I write about my thoughts as a way to express everything that’s going on rapidly in my brain. I think about my friends, who I’ve loved, who I’ve lost. The past, the present, the future. People’s perceptions of me, my perception of myself, everything you can think of.

I’m the sort of person who hurts immensely at the idea of loss. As someone who thrives off surrounding herself with people, it suddenly hits me when someone leaves my life. I honestly don’t take it well, and I’ll probably continue to think about particular losses of my life in years to come. I suddenly think that loss is a reflection of who I am, and what everyone dislikes in me.

I’m the sort of person who would write about you. Yes, I have a notebook full of about fifty irrelevant poems which shapes whatever is floating round in my head at the time. Love, loss, heartbreak, and back to love again. My ‘journal’ and poems are a collection of me. A collection of everything I can’t express verbally so I write it in the form of poetry. There are so many poems I wish that I could send to whoever they’re about, or publish in general, but I probably never will. Nevertheless, it’s how I heal and it works.

I’m the sort of person who gets so wrapped up in things, and if I’m passionate about something; oh gosh, I’m passionate. For example, music. I could sit and talk for hours about how each chord and backing instrument adds to the feel of a musical piece and how excited I get over it. I also get excited over the smallest things. Whether that’s looking up at the sky, someone complimenting me, or even nature. It may sound so ‘stupid,’ but it’s true.

I’m the sort of person who would just laugh for no reason. I constantly burst out into laughter for no apparent reason, and it scares everyone around me to be honest. They just don’t understand why it happens, and neither do I. I laugh a lot, and happiness is a fundamental part of my life. I hurt, I laugh. I dance, I laugh. I’m sat with my friends, and I laugh. Just live, feel alive, and laughter is the best reflection of that.

And last but not least, I’m me. I figure that this post was partly written to free myself. To write all these qualities about myself that makes me human, and tell myself that it’s totally okay. As someone who used to hate themselves and everything about them so much, I’ve grown to realise that hey, I’m me and that’s all that matters. I have my own unique space in this world, I’ll reach my ambitions and I’ll just be whoever I’m destined to be. Honestly, I just want to be loved for who I am. As deep as it sounds, I think everyone does. I’m quite a hard person to figure out. I’m quite stubborn, I’m quite independent, but I’m also quite sensitive and positive. I don’t blog about ‘preachy things’ because I want to be some sort of inspirational speaker. I do it because sometimes I need to remind myself of my own worth when I feel as though I have none.

I just want to be accepted for me.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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You’re allowed to feel confident


Since when was it seen as a bad thing to love your own body? It’s like we frown down on people who aren’t confident by telling them to “lighten up,” and then we say “hold up. You can’t be that confident.” Confidence does not have boundaries, and it shouldn’t be frowned upon.

I can quite comfortably sit here and say I’m comfortable in my own body at the moment. I can sit here and say that it’s taken a long time for me to accept my appearance, but now that I have I feel so incredibly liberated. The thing is, that doesn’t make me ‘self absorbed’ and we should stop using that label in conjunction with confidence.

You’re allowed to sit there and say, “You know what? I look pretty good today.” If you feel confident, flaunt it. Shout about it. Write it. It’s one of them pretty amazing feelings in which it can take a long time to achieve, but when it is achieved, it’s one of the most powerful feelings you can endure.

There is a clear difference between being confident, and being self absorbed.

Confidence: the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something. (Ie being confident and accepting in ones own physical or overall appearance).

Self absorbed: Self absorption is defined as caring only about one’s own self and one’s own activities and not showing interest in the rest of the world.

It’s quite liberating for me to be able to go out now and feel comfortable in what I’m wearing and essentially, how I look but it definitely doesn’t happen over night. One of the key things I had to tell myself when finding my own confidence was that it’s okay if I look unique or don’t fit in with the socially constructed view of ‘beauty.’ I am me. And my appearance is my appearance. Why shame and ridicule me for something I simply cannot change? We were all born unique, so it’s time we all accepted embracement.

I’m not just someone sat behind a computer screen preaching and saying “You should be confident!!” because that’s not how it works. It can’t possibly work like that as soon as someone clicks their fingers. But if you have a day where you feel even a little bit confidence, embrace that. Show the world what you have to offer and take no shame in it.

Confidence and self love is important to me because it helps keep me going. I got to a point where I was beating myself up over my appearance so much that it simply wasn’t healthy. Sometimes it’s beneficial for your own health to sit there and point out even two things you kinda like about yourself. Or two things that makes you, you. I don’t know many other people who are blind in one eye and were born with their stomach inside out like I was. I hate my scar on my stomach, but at the same time… that’s me.

I have no shame in sitting here and declaring my confidence in my own appearance. I’m not saying I’m the prettiest dime in the box, because I’m far from it. But I still value my appearance and accept that I simply am who I am. Whether that’s in my appearance or my personality.

Confidence is healthy and powerful for the mind, and I shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed for being confident. It’s not being big headed, or self absorbed. I deserve to accept my own unique beauty (in whatever shape or form that may come in), just like I accept the beauty of others. Because I’m still human, and I deserve to find confidence just like you do too.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Does life need to be so complicated?


I feel like I constantly allude to this all the tine. The idea that life seems so complicated, but when we take a step back and completely strip life down.. is it really?

I feel as though life being complicated is a very personal thing. As humans, we can naturally make situations complicated as well as societal expectations also playing a part. For example, relationships. I have always said this, but some people who love each other aren’t together, and some people who don’t love each other are together. That’s the sad reality of it all. We sometimes seem to make excuses as to why we “can’t” be together with someone but if you really think about it, people can find a way to be together and make it work. I don’t know, maybe I’m very idealistic.

I am living in this very liberating mindset at the moment of “just do it.” In fact, it seems to be my life motto at the moment. I wanted my tattoo for months and as soon as I was 18 I thought, “what’s stopping me?” and got it. I’ve wanted to travel to Leeds for so long, and I finally had an opportunity to go. I wanted to make excuses when it came to not going but I thought, “why not?” and ended up having the best time. I go on spontaneous days out because I can. 

Everyone seems to tell me to enjoy my life at 18, and trust me, that’s exactly what I am doing. I feel like my life starts now and there’s no point in complicating things and making excuses as to why I won’t fulfill something I’ve wanted to for so long.

Ever since I’ve decluttered my life, I have felt a lot happier, and I’m pretty sure the people closest to me has seen that change in me too. When you think about it, you have this amazing life in front of you just waiting to be written- and you can write your story however you want. You can either live life complicating things and live in regret, or you can just do things because you can. Determination.

If you take anything away from this post, I hope you reflect on life in general and where you’re going. I hope you ask yourself, “is this really what I want?” and if it isn’t, fix it. Things are never as bad as they seem, and you can honestly get through anything. Write your story and make it pretty damn amazing because you deserve nothing less.

In some ways, complications are the product of a humans personal choice. We always have a choice, and we always have chance to change things if we wish. Sometimes it’s not easy. Being in love with someone who doesn’t love you, isn’t easy. Trying to reach for your dream job and getting knocked back so many times that you begin to loose hope isn’t easy. But keep fighting. You’ll find a way to get there in the end.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Why my anxiety will never win


It’s not a secret that I have anxiety. Hi, yes I panic over people hating me, my friends not wanting to be my friends, and being a burdern to everyone in my life. Sounds dark when I put it like that, but it isn’t. I’m happy and positive 95% of the time. 

As completely irrational as it may sound to someone who has never had mental health issues before, it’s like constantly living with a ‘linger.’ It’s going to sleep happy you’ve had a ‘good day’ with low anxiety levels, and then waking up the next day and for some reason having a ‘bad day.’

When I talk about my anxiety, I am normally open about the thoughts and feelings that ferociously overflow my mind. As dark and depressing as it may sound, I live my life in the fear of people hating me. I could say something, and beat myself up over it for a good 3 days afterwards. I could worry about being alone and having no one whilst I have an amazing support group of people that surround me.

I recently had an encounter which made me extremely anxious. One thing I hate is being stared at and ridiculed, which happened to me recently and left my anxiety sky high. Although many people may have either brushed this off, or approached the person responsible and started an argument; this event left me house bound for 2 days. I had to drag myself out of the house on the following Tuesday. I was so displaced in who I was that I began to believe that I deserved to be mocked and humiliated- when I clearly don’t. The reason why I was put in that uncomfortable position is still a mystery to me, but it was the effects after what happened which triggered my anxiety to the worst point it’s been (probably ever).

When it comes to my anxious thoughts, I take comfort in a ‘safe place’ where I can talk to someone and let my thoughts and feelings out in complete confidence. Although my ‘safe place’ is no longer around, I have created my own ‘safe place’ in myself with a general plan of what to do when my anxiety reaches frightening points and I simply feel hopeless.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a blog post on my new semi colon tattoo. In all honesty, my tattoo has helped act as a personal reminder that my story is not ready to end. Shoutout to my anxiety- you will not win. Although I reach points of such hopelessness, separation and displacement; my high anxious times normally pass. I am a lot stronger than I give myself credit for, and sometimes being reminded of that helps me realise that my anxiety and my anxious thoughts don’t deserve to impact so much on my health and it’s all about control.

As completely absurd as this may seem to someone who struggles with anxiety like me, I now also put myself in purposeful anxious positions to show myself that I can do it. When I am in the right frame of mind, I become determined enough to order my own food, go out on my own, go to events by myself or even silly things like walking down a busy street and turning round to go in a different direction. When this blog post goes up, I’ll be at the Bloggers Blog Award event on my own. I would never have done that 3 months ago.

My anxiety does not difine me. It’s as simple as that. Ironically, I am a pretty happy and positive person. Just because my brain is wired differently compared to other people doesn’t suddenly mean that I am dark and depressed all the time. Because the reality is, I’m not. I am finally at a point where I’m understanding my mental health. Where I am ready to say “HI ANXIETY YOU WILL NOT WIN,” but also accept that it’s okay if I have a ‘bad day’ because it’s going to happen. Where I have finally plucked up the courage to admit that I need help in order to help keep my anxiety under control (yes, after months of waiting and years of putting it off after fear, I have finally been referred to a mental health clinic). Small, but positive steps… right?

My anxiety will always be there in some shape or form. The sad thing about mental health illnesses, is that they don’t just disappear. It will always linger, and it will always be a constant battle. Just because I seem happy one day doesn’t automatically mean that the thoughts of hopelessness and the fear of people completely hating me just don’t go away like magic. But who I fundamentally am and my personality will always be bigger and a more dominant part of me than my anxiety. Because I’ve accepted that I can suffer from anxiety, and love making friends. I can suffer from anxiety, and still be independent. My mental health will not replace the fundamental qualities of who I am.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Life is what you make it



“Life is what you make it” is the type of philosophy I have based my life around at the moment. I have began to realise that if I want to do something, I should just do it because nothing is stopping me from doing what I want with my own life. Whether that’s getting a tattoo I’ve wanted for so long, cutting out people in my life who simply aren’t good for me, or even dancing like the world will never end because guess what? I can and I will.

“So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.”

In my experience, life is too short to not live it to the fullest. To live it ‘loving’ someone you no longer love, and alternately, ‘not loving’ someone you want to love. Forget judgement and constraints. There really is no such word as ‘I can’t’ if you put your mind to it.

Let’s put it this way, if you want something, reach for it and get it. Don’t stop until you get what you deserve. I have recently realised that you can’t make someone want or miss you, or even force someone to stay in your life. But you can make your intentions clear. Say things before it’s too late or before you regret it, you never know what could happen tomorrow. Why wait?

I’ve recently become intrigued by Rupi Kaur’s collection of poetry, Milk and Honey. One of my most favourite pieces from this book states that, “don’t mistake salt for sugar. If he wants to be with you, he will. It’s that simple.” If you want to be with someone, you’ll find a way. You’ll find a way to think about what’s actually right for you. And you’ll get there if it’s meant to happen.

And above all else? Have fun, and live your life. Wear what you want, smile. Laugh like it’s the only thing you know how to do. Don’t let anyone put you down for whatever makes you happy. If catching Pokemon, playing video games or looking at the sky makes you happy then embrace that above all else. Love like it’s the only thing in this world you know how to. Put your time and energy into the people who mean the most to you regardless of the past. Aim for your goals, and don’t stop until you achieve them. Be the best person you can be, and be happy and healthy.

From today, I will have no regrets. If I end up falling for someone again, I’ll tell them. I’ll be happy in rekindling lost relationships and meeting new people and discovering new wonders of life. I certainly will not let societal expectations stop me from living my life I want, or stop me from saying things to people who I love the most. There’s no point spending your life surrounded by people who make you feel less than you deserve, and neglecting those who would give you the world.

And because life is what I make it, I have recently discovered how amazing writing poetry, and writing in general can be. It opens up so many doors to my thoughts and feelings, so here’s a small section of something I recently wrote. I have no shame in my feelings and I have no shame in making something beautiful out of a painful situation that had emotionally killed me.

That’s the thing. I had to let you go. I had to push my desires aside and let you live. Let you experience life and love without me. Let you heal. Because at the end of the day, all I wanted was for you to be happy. I’ll always love and care. But I had to let go and disappear. And whoever comes along and loves you more than I did do? That’s competition. But cherish her. Because that’s a number bigger than all infinities. 

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Want 20% off your order at Coconut-Lane? Use the code ‘beccajayne20’ at the checkout to redeem…. go on! Why not treat yourself?

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Connect:

Twitter: @beccaxjayne

Instagram: itsbeccajayne

Snapchat: itssbeccajayne

Bloglovin’: Click here to never miss a blog post from me!

Facebook: Positive Plxnt

Feel free to drop me a tweet etc xo

Is independence empowering?


I like to think of myself as a pretty independent person which can be extremely empowering to me. A person who can make her own decisions, be responsible for her own success, and can go out on her own and do her own thing. I hate relying on people and not being able to make my own decisions.

And what about when it comes to being independent in relationships? I totally support that 100%. Obviously, a relationship is between two people, and you can’t be selfish. But, being selfish and independent are two different things. In a relationship I can still make my own decisions. I can still go out on my own without my boyfriend. I can still earn my own money, and not rely on my boyfriend’s; and likewise spend money on him too.

One of the things I’ve always wanted to be is a strong, independent woman. I don’t like being told that I can’t do something because of my gender, or being told that I am not capable enough to make my own decisions.

I am not even saying this because I label myself as a Feminist. I just feel like independence is such an amazing and empowering feeling. I will never let anyone tell me what I can or can’t do, and I will never let anyone put me down for being a woman. I am more than capable of looking after myself, just as much as a male is. My gender does not determine how independent I can or can’t be either.

Because I am strong and independent, I will live my life how I want. I will strive to reach my own goals, ignoring others opinions. I will stick to the person I want to be, and get out there and meet new people and make new friends without relying on anyone else. In every relationship I get in, I will still uphold and stick to this belief; yet still be in a relationship with partnership, and still have my own unique identity.

I am happy in my own vision of myself and who I want to be, with being independent being one of my most empowering features. I’m happy in not relying on others, I’m happy in having own opinions and view on things and not being influenced by others. I’m happy in being my own liberated and empowered person and just a strong, independent woman.

Being independent is a good thing. It does not mean I am ‘stuck up’ or ‘stubborn.’

Independent: 1. free from outside control; not subject to another’s authority. 2. not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

————————-

Want 20% off your order at Coconut-Lane? Use the code ‘beccajayne20’ at the checkout to redeem…. go on! Why not treat yourself?

————————-

Connect:

Twitter: @beccaxjayne

Instagram: itsbeccajayne

Snapchat: itssbeccajayne

Bloglovin’: Click here to never miss a blog post from me!

Facebook: Positive Plxnt

Feel free to drop me a tweet etc xo