Womanhood


I have recently had a feeling of empowerment and confidence, and felt like it has to be written down somewhere. Aka here. You see, I love being a woman. Sure, there are things that suck such as periods, and annoying boobs, and just woman-ly things in general. But honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a woman, and I came to the conclusion that it is unique for every individual. I love being a woman because it makes me feel empowered, and confident. I like the idea of being a ‘strong woman,’ and a fearless woman, and a woman with ambitions and dreams. I like being a woman who finds confidence within her own self, rather than relying on men all the time (although that’s okay too- like I said, personal to each individual).

I like the idea of being a woman, and being me. At the end of the day I know that I am not defined by my gender as each individual is different, but I love embracing womanhood. I love talking about girl power, and bringing up other women, and the whole concept which surrounds our whole gender.

I have recently become engrossed in ‘Kehlani’s’ new album recently, in which she highlights the concept of womanhood and love in her ‘Intro’ which is taken from a poet called,  Reyna Biddy. I have taken some of my most favourite lyrics from this piece, and put them below so you have a better understanding of what I’m talking about:

I’m afraid you’re under the impression
That I was made to please you
I was under the impression you understood me better
The truth is, I’m a superwoman
And some days I’m an angry woman
And some days I’m a crazy woman
For still waiting, for still loving harder even if I’m aching
For still trusting that I’m still worth the most
For still searching for someone to understand me better.

I find the lyrics so incredibly empowering and eye-opening, and it just brought me back to what makes me feel mot alive and like a woman. The idea of longing for love and understanding, yet not mixing that up with the ambition to please anyone.

Because the fact is, I am writing this post feeling extremely strong, liberated and free minded. I feel like as a woman, as me, I can conquer anything. I can achieve my goals. I can work on myself and be a better woman and person. I can be independent, and sexy, and strong minded. I can be me and feel comfortable in who I am.

Here’s to womanhood, confidence, liberation and us.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

Why international women’s day is important to me


I don’t want this blog post to be full of rambling statistics regarding the ‘wage gap,’ or general statistics regarding gender equality; rather I want to use this blog post to promote the fundamental idea’s of ‘International Women’s Day’ (March 8th), and why I am so passionate about it.

International Women’s Day celebrates the social, economic, cultural and political achievement of women.
Yet progress has slowed in many places across the world, so global action is needed to accelerate gender parity.
In 2016 leaders across the world pledged to take action as champions of gender parity
– not only for International Women’s Day, but for every day.

(Taken from https://www.internationalwomensday.com).

It is no secret that I identify myself as a Feminist, and love the idea of ‘girl power’ and female empowerment. Not that I should have to justify my beliefs, but that doesn’t mean to say that I do not believe in male empowerment either. However, this is a day for women to come together and show how strong we actually are. To reflect on the past, and look at how far women have come in society.

I’m sure if you sat down, you could name hundreds + of inspirational, strong and powerful women which exist, and existed, within different societies. And that’s the reality of it all; women can be just that, and we are just that.

International Women’s Day highlights a number of factors when it comes to females in general. For example, reflecting on gender inequality which still exists worldwide today. You don’t have to feel oppressed yourself to have your eyes open to the scary realities that some women have to face daily. Look at FGM (female genital mutilation) for one. However, it is also important that as well as highlighting these gender inequality issues that still exist today, we also reflect upon the positives within the movement.

For example, many women now have the right to vote; a right in which I certainly do not, and ever will, take for granted. Women had to die for that right, and I certainly feel proud to be able to vote for my political beliefs. In addition, we have had increasing improvement in the status of women in society. We are now able to work, and choose our family sizes for ourselves. We are now able to hold our own independence within society and do it with a ‘hell yeah’ attitude and I love that. I love being able to work, and earn just as much money as my male colleagues. (I guess that’s a whole other topic for another day).

I like to think of myself as a Feminist in which reflects at gender inequality, and picks out the positives that have been achieved within the movement whilst working on the negatives which still exists today. And I believe that International Women’s Day fundamentally does that. It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel proud to be a woman. It makes me proud of my female friends, their strength, and how inspiring other females are to me. It reflects girl power, and unites women together. It makes me realise that even I am a hell of a lot stronger than I originally thought I was.

I am a woman. I am female. And I am proud.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

You can find more information on International Women’s Day by clicking here.

A life change


You are in control of your own life. Your own desires. Your future. Who belongs in your life, and who doesn’t.

I was back thinking again the other day, and I especially reflected on how my life has changed dramatically since this time last year. Some people I was friends with last year, I am no longer friends with; and the people who I am friends with now, I wasn’t friends with a year ago. To me, it’s crazy how drastically things can change and who you thought would stay in your life, simply hasn’t.

I’ve also thought about my own ‘change.’ As much as I am a strong believer that at the end of the day, most people don’t end up totally changing, I’ll call my own transition over the past year or so simply ‘growing up.’ Things have happened, that have made me stronger. My mindset has improved. My outlook on things have improved. I will no longer settle being around people who make me feel less than good enough. (You can read more on this in my post about putting myself first).

I think at the beginning, people saw this transition as shocking and in some ways, that says it all. It was almost like the people who were taking me for granted, suddenly didn’t know what to do. Almost like they couldn’t control me anymore, and I’m so glad I let those people go.

I am an overly sensitive person. I constantly pressure myself to be liked by everyone, when in reality, that simply is impossible. I don’t take people leaving very well, and I certainly haven’t over the past year. But I have begun to slowly realise that those who do not want to be a part of my life, are not worthy of being in my life. That I should start to cherish those more who want to be around me, rather than those who tear me down.

And as for my own personality, I feel like I have almost ‘blossomed.’ The only way I can describe it as is, “I don’t care anymore.” I am me. I am loud. I talk way too much. I ramble and get deep about things that probably don’t need to be talked about. I have strong political views on equality, and life in general, and I like to express that!! (That explanation mark was clearly used as a “take that” to anyone who can’t handle that about me). But you know what?? I am real. I am happy expressing who I am. I don’t want to hide who I am anymore. And if people like me, then that’s great. And if they don’t, then that’s also okay… I am not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and ! that ! is ! fine !

To anyone who knew me a year ago; I am still the same Becca. Just better. Improved. More confident and empowered. The person inside me has not changed. I have just grown and found myself more and more.

To the amazing people who are still around, and still cherish me as a human being, thank you. To anyone who left my life for the better, thank you. It is because of each and every single person in my life (those present now, or those who have left), that I am sat here with the biggest smile on my face writing this. And I can proudly say- this is me.

I also made a YouTube video discussing this a bit more in detail if you are interested. Thank you for reading / watching. Enjoy.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

‘A strong, independent woman.’


Okay so it’s nearly 12am and it’s been a while since I have plucked up a sudden ‘urge’ to write a blog post over something that makes my mind bounce and my heart flutter. When I get a sudden rush of writing inspiration, I normally get all weird inside and it’s like my thoughts run at 100 miles per hour so bare with me on this one.

Ladies, here’s a thought for you. A thought that people seem to mention all the time, but which has actually stuck with me tonight. Do not, EVER, let a man define your worth. Never. If a man is unable to cherish and appreciate you for who you are, then that’s his loss. Obviously, this applies to anyone in life, just like a man never letting a woman define his worth, but I’m talking about this in relation to something that’s been whirling round in my life.

I could’ve easily have let someone define my worth a long time ago. In fact, I touched on this in my ‘A conclusion’ post. But I am so incredibly glad that I didn’t make that mistake. And I am so incredibly glad that I am strong enough in myself to turn round and say, “You know what? That wasn’t what I needed.”

Because a person’s actions against you, does not define you. Have confidence in your own self to know what you deserve, and it should be nothing but the best.

You don’t find your worth in a man. You find your worth within yourself and then find a man who’s worthy of you. Remember that.

I feel like I’m going on a ‘women independence’ tangent right now, but I feel like this has to be reflected upon. I am so fortunate to have the mindset of independence and empowerment. To be strong enough to not let a man rule me, my life or my emotions. To know that being single can still be one of the best things. Because I don’t need anyone, and I never have. Wanting, and needing are two totally different things.

So, to whoever took me for granted, good effort. Thank you for making me feel more empowered, confident, independent and strong than I have ever felt in my life. Thank you for filling me with the courage to do better, and be better. And thank you for making me my own worth- which is certainly not shaped by your actions.

Stay fearless.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

A competitive life


I have been thinking a lot about outward appearances and just appearances in general a lot lately. I don’t know if I’m the only one who does this, but do you ever look around you and think, “I wish I looked like that?” Obviously these aren’t healthy thoughts, but I often get drawn into thinking them every now and again.

It feels like society in general is a competition over appearances. You know, having to look a certain way in order to make the cut to be a model, or to look like the perfect ‘star.’ It really is pressure, and as much as people seem to address this issue, I want to address it in my own way.

The fact is, in some shape or form, society has been like this for years. I think the trick is learning to feel comfortable in accepting your own appearance however. As much as I am becoming confident in how I look, I do still often compare myself to even my own best friends. It’s like I don’t feel like I ‘fit in’ because I don’t look a certain way. Or I don’t style my clothes like they do. Or because I wear glasses, and genuinely can’t wear contact lenses because there’s not one suitably fitted to cater for my eyes (as far as I know of anyway).

But when you think about it, beauty really does come in many forms, shapes and sizes. Maybe the only person we should compete with is ourselves and setting our own goals to strive for. You see, I hate getting bogged down about my appearance, just like a lot of other people probably do. It’s definitely a daily struggle, one in which I wish so many people didn’t have to deal with.

In a lot of these posts, I normally end it with a plea to go out and compliment at least one person when, and if, possible. Even if it’s just, “I like your hair,” or, “That dress is cute! Where’s it from?” Beauty shouldn’t be a competition, but a joint effort of empowerment. Of letting down our own pride, and giving someone else a reason to feel good. A little can go a long way.

Flaunt that perfect lil ass of yours because you deserve it.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Putting yourself first


So this is going to be another one of those blog posts that are completely jumbled and is just all my emotions blurted into one rambling piece of writing while my eyes are hurting from being so tired and drained. But nevertheless, here it goes.

I recently vowed to myself that I would not settle for anything less than I deserve. I probably spend the majority of 2016 being messed about by people who simply didn’t deserve my time, effort, or even myself. I don’t care if it’s a boy, friend, cat or goldfish- I won’t expose myself to the amount of hurt that I have endured previously.

I think it’s so liberating when you finally know you’re own worth. It’s like the whole feeling of, “wow. You know what? I do deserve better.” As someone who used to beat herself up over people constantly hating her, it is the most amazing feeling knowing that I won’t settle for something I’m simply not happy with.

I am dedicating myself to me, and to the people around me whom I love and cherish the most. It’s not in a selfish way, but sometimes, that’s the most important. I say it all the time (I know!), but you are your own longest commitment. Look after yourself and your own feelings. Don’t spend your life around people who make you feel less than you should.

I guess a lot of these thoughts and feelings lead onto the subject of boys, and relationship in general. Okay we gathered, I suck at all that kind of stuff, but I’m not going to spend my time on a boy, or anyone for that matter, who won’t make the effort to come and see me. Who won’t give back as much effort as I am putting in. I have learnt the hard way that it’s just not worth it. I would rather be single than be with someone who makes me feel any less than how I should feel.

I look back at what I’ve just wrote with utter astonishment, in a good sort of way. This time last year, I would have never felt as confident in myself and what I’m worth as I do now. I am a human, and I deserve to be loved and cherished like one just as I give back. Don’t spend your time giving 100% to someone when you’re getting 50% back. Yes, i know, I did say this would be a rambled post.

Confidence in yourself is empowering and liberating and utterly amazing. Don’t ever confuse it for being vain, rather knowing you’re own worth.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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A conclusion

So here it goes.

I don’t know what I want to title this post, or if it will even be published for the whole world to see on the internet. But for now, this is going to be a post that comes from one of the deepest parts of emotion. A post which is probably a conclusion to everything I have been writing since July. Probably one of the most emotional, and personal blog posts yet.

I never like to keep anything secret on my blog. This is a little corner for me to express everything I want to, without me needing to sugarcoat anything. Everything is real, and is a reflection of who I am and my life.

The truth is that I once loved someone who meant a great deal to me. Someone who meant more to me than I ever anticipated, and as cliche as it sounds, was probably my first love. I have recently found out something about that relationship that somehow seemed to make sense. I was lied to. Stuff went on behind my back. It was that sort of relationship that I look back on where I can’t seem to distinguish what was real and what was totally fake anymore.

I think you can all understand what I am alluding to in this post, and although for so long I thought it did happen, it’s real now that I have had assurance of my thoughts.

Do I hate my ex who lied to me for three months? Probably not. The thing with me is that I seem to see the good in everyone, and that can be annoying- especially at times like this. Am I hurting? Probably not anymore. Did I cry? No.

You see, this isn’t a blog post full of hatred and sadness at all. In fact, it’s simply a conclusion to my story which I have been writing about for 6 months now. Sometimes one person can love another more than they receive back. Sometimes it’s moments like this that make you realise, “Wait. I am stronger than this.” I am.

You’d think cheating would break a person, and in some ways it can do.But the truth is, you were always good enough- and always will be. Just because another human doesn’t see that, doesn’t mean you should degrade yourself. Blessings happen, and this was one of them. Someone will come along who is worthy of my love. Soon.

I’m not going to “expose” my ex, or even tell him I hate him. I don’t, and I think that says it all. He’s living his life, and I’m living mine. I have never been so happy in my life, and I think this situation is living proof of just how much of a better place I am in.

So there we have it. All my current thoughts written in one rambling blog post that just so happens to have a more positive outcome than it may first seem. Some people are simply in your life for life experience, and valuable experience at that.

Stay positive and know your worth. You are not a reflection of other people’s actions against you, nor should you put yourself down for simply being yourself. Don’t regret loving someone who didn’t deserve you in the first place, but also don’t be afraid to love someone again. Someone, somewhere, admires every single little thing about you and would do anything to cherish that. Whether that exists now, or in ten years. You’ve got this- you’re strong, and independent, and I have all faith in you. In fact, I have all faith in myself.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

note: this post was written purely for my own mental benefit. I don’t have any form of hatred towards any parties ever involved, and never could have. Live your life by staying humble and true to your own morals. x

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Finding yourself


I feel as though discovering ‘who you are’ is a big obstacle when it comes to life. I have certainly had my doubts in who I am, and I am still progressing even now into the person I want to become.

The thing with life is that there is no right or wrong way of doing things. You kind of just muddle through- and finding yourself can also be a bit like that. I have had many ‘trial and error’ moments where I’ve thought, “wait, this isn’t who I want to be.”

Throughout High School, I was always that kid at the back of the class that hardly talked to anyone, and just stuck to her own group of ‘friends.’ I found friendship especially challenging in my early teenage years, and for the first time in my life, I will openly come out and say that I was subject to months of bullying.

I figured that being mocked and ridiculed for who I was on a daily basis was normal. I put up with it all because I figured that I wasn’t worthy enough to have any ‘proper friends.’ I kind of figured that the people that were worthy of that were the ‘popular ones’- the people with their own cliques, and I ultimately was a shy outsider.

I soon began to realise that I was, and am, worth much more than that. It even got to one point in High School where I would have quite happily moved schools without a trace. I think a lot of what I went through has also contributed to my anxiety. I don’t want to go into anymore detail into what happened exactly- but in some ways, it made me stronger.

You are not a reflection of other people’s perceptions of you, but rather your own. I am a strong believer that finding confidence in yourself is also a fundamental part to becoming who you’re meant to be. If people choose to overlook your positive aspects- then that’s their problem. Honestly, I wish I was as confident in High School as I was in college. I wish I made as many friends in High School as college, and in some ways, I wish I had blossomed into myself sooner.

Although I have changed throughout the past three years, or even six months, I know and understand that there is still a long way to go. I will never be perfect, and that’s okay. I have done and said things that I deeply regret; but would you really be living if you never had those times?

For now, I am in a happy place with myself. It is the most liberating feeling hearing and seeing people from even High School acknowledge that I have changed. I’m not that ‘shy’ and ‘self conscious’ girl that sad quietly at the back of the class anymore. And I may not be the stubborn girl I am now in ten years time. Who knows.

I like to think of this as a sort of journey. If you think you know me, you most probably don’t. I am always changing and improving. I am always working on myself and working on who I am. Sometimes give people a chance though, it’s easy to forget that everyone is still ‘finding themselves’ at some point in their lives.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Why ‘girl power’ is so important


Girl power. We seem to talk about this idea a lot. I actually bought a top which says ‘power to the girls’ and it got me thinking a lot about girl power in general.

The phrase “girl power” is used as a term of empowerment, independence, and self-sureness. Girl power expressed a cultural phenomenon of the 1990s and early 2000s. It is also linked to third-wave feminism. The term was made popular by the Spice Girls in the mid-to-late 1990s.

When I think about ‘girl power,’ the idea of empowerment and confidence seems to spring to mind. Girl power is all about unity of women in order to bring about a shared sense of empowerment. It is not a term created to imply that women want to be ‘more powerful’ than men, or vice versa.

I am happy promoting girl power because it is fundamentally important. We live in a world full of such judgement, weather that’s based on our appearance, personality, sexuality, beliefs or anything in between. Girl Power is about bringing one another up, rather than tearing each other down.

 

It deeply upsets me when I see girls speak low of another female. It’s almost as if girls compete against each other in order to bring their own self esteem up. And it’s not healthy. Girl Power is about improving the confidence of women- instead of commenting negatively on another woman’s appearance, why not compliment her for something she deserves to be complimented on instead?

Here’s to Girl Power. Here’s to empowerment. Here’s to confidence, and here’s to equality for all.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

A letter to myself

I think we sometimes forget how short life actually is. It seems like people tel me all the time to make the most of my life while I’m 18 because it simply flies by.

I’m the sort of person who likes to live without any regrets. t’s pretty ironic for someone who seems to dwell over certain situations and over analyse their outcomes, but I don’t think there can be a more accurate life philosophy.

Good or bad, everything you do and everything that happens to you happens for a reason. I’m a strong believer in this and I think this is one of the most powerful factors when it comes to me not living life with constant regret.

I hope I can look back on my life in 50 years and think “Wow.” To be honest with you, I don’t even know what career path I want to choose for certain yet. I;m honestly just living. I’m young. I have so many years left, and for the moment I’m ticking things off my bucket list that I have aspired to do for so long.

I don’t know if I’m typing this out rapidly on my keyboard at 12am because I’m running on 4 hours of sleep and I’m exhausted. But honestly, just live. I think we all forget that we are simply alive and we are made to live. We are made to experience all angles of life, and sometimes they can be more beneficial to us than we first think.

I can’t, and won;t, sit here and say I haven’t made mistakes. I’m human, there’s going to be times when I mess up and beat myself up for it. But sometimes we dwell on mistakes too long and spend our lives stuck in the past instead of the here and now. Everything that has happened in my past has been a learning curve for me. People have had it worse than me, but I have still had my own unique learning experiences that I like to turn into a positive.

The main message that I want to send myself is to just feel alive. Embrace your flaws and mistakes. Make the most f every moment. Every laughter, every tear, every experience good or bad. But with that, stay true. Stay humble and kind throughout. As well as making myself proud in 50 years time, I hope I make the people around me proud too.

Love and happiness always,
xo, Becca

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