I’m happy and confident being single


I have been meaning to write a post a bit like this for a while, about my whole view of being newly single, why I’m totally happy being single, and why being single has actually turned out to be extremely beneficial to me as a person.

Ever since I’ve been single, I feel like it’s helped me in finding myself and finding who I am. Obviously this can be done in relationships too, but the independent time to myself has been healing and probably the best thing that could’ve happened to me at this moment in time.

In fact, I have been told by some of the closest people in my life that I seem to have ‘blossomed’ in the past couple of months after becoming single. I seem to be a lot more confident, happy, empowered and liberated and that’s down to me deciding to take control of my life and do better.

I’m young, and I’m happy living my life at 18 and finding myself in the process. For someone who spends so much time putting others before her own health, it’s been extremely liberating for me to bounce back and be a developed product of the person I was 4 months ago. 

Overall, bring single has enabled me to concentrate on myself without having to think about another person whom I am in a relationship with. As much as I love being in relationships, being single equally has it’s benefits. I’ve had space to think, and to finally do everything that I’ve wanted to for so long.

This includes things I said that I would do whilst in my last relationship. I’m now taking control of my anxiety. I finally plucked up the courage to go to the doctors and seek help and am now waiting for my ‘cognitive behavioral therapy’ counselling sessions. I have been able to start travelling again which included going to Leeds for the #BloggersBlogAwards. I am going back to London in December and March and I am comfortable in myself in the first time in probably forever.

It’s given me time and space to think, reflect and regroup. As much as my friends are trying to be my ‘wing women’ and find me someone again… I personally don’t want it. I am the happiest in my own independent space and looking after myself and my health comes first and foremost. It’s helped me take a step back and think about things in depth. It’s completely slowed my hectic life down, and helped me control myself. It’s helped me become the person I’ve wanted to become for so long. Blossoming. 

I mean, Beyoncé wrote a whole song about being single and happy… so it can’t be that bad.

So hi, being single isn’t a bad thing, just like neither is being in a relationship. It is all about personal preference for the individual at that time. And for now? Honestly, my mingling days are back whilst looking after myself at the same time. I’m happy. I’m becoming healthier. I’m doing everything I promised I would do whilst I was in my last relationship- just doing it being single. And I am extremely liberated and empowered.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

————————-

Want 20% off your order at Coconut-Lane? Use the code ‘beccajayne20’ at the checkout to redeem…. go on! Why not treat yourself?

————————-
Connect:

Twitter: @beccaxjayne

Instagram: itsbeccajayne

Snapchat: itssbeccajayne

Bloglovin’: Click here to never miss a blog post from me!

Facebook: Itsbeccajayne

Feel free to drop me a tweet etc xo

The importance of self love

img_6161-1
I feel like this topic is constantly talked about. Telling people they should “love themselves and their bodies” and “should be comfortable in their own skin.” But like a lot of other things, that’s easier said than done. How do we achieve self love, and how do we know when we’ve achieved self love?

I think it’s good to sometimes explore why it’s important that we love ourselves more. A lot of us have probably beaten ourselves up about one thing or another. Whether that’s regarding our appearance, a personality trait, or something we may have done to others. At the end of the day, cut yourself some slack. Perfection doesn’t exist, so why do we always strive for something that’s false anyway?

Be patient with yourself and use every day as a way of growing up and being better. In order to do this, you have to stop beating yourself up about everything you’re not, and look at everything you are.

For example, I don’t have skinny thighs, or big boobs, or the best face structure. Sure, I’d love all those things. I’d love to not have to turn my head to a weird angle so I can actually see because I’m partially sighted in one eye. I’d love to not make mistakes, and hurt the people I love the most. I’d love to actually be skilled at something and not be so insecure all the time because I have ‘nothing going for me.’ But when that all gets too much,  I look at the things I am. I sure as hell cherish everything that means the most to me, meaning that I am kind and compassionate to those I love the most. I actually like the colour of my hair at the moment (I seem to be going more ginger!) I actually like that my personality is centred around being a good person, and I eventually let myself off when I mess up. I actually like my ugly ass scar that runs halfway up my stomach because it makes me different. (Trust me, it is ugly).

It’s so easy to get caught up in all the pressure that surrounds us. As to what kind of human you should be. I hate being sensitive, because I get hurt easily. But being sensitive also means that I have my eyes so open to the world, and I know how to be so compassionate towards others so I don’t hurt people the way I’ve been hurt. See what I mean by turning once personal flaws about yourself into positives?

I’m not saying you’ll be confident all the time. I have times when I get so insecure that I would be quite happy not leaving the house for a week. I still compare myself to others, and I still beat myself up about not being ‘pretty enough’ or a ‘nice enough person.’ It’s okay to feel low sometimes; because it can help to come back with a stronger and more confident mindset.

By no means does loving yourself enough to be confident in yourself mean you’re ‘egotistical’ or ‘big headed’ either. Instead, it’s liberating finding who you are, and achieving everything you want to achieve. Take a moment to think about the things you love about yourself the most. People fail to realise a lot of the time that there is good and beauty in everyone and that includes yourself. Such a cliche phrase I know, but in the nearly 18 years I’ve lived, I’ve found that’s very true.

And why self love is so important? Because at the end of the day, you’re your own longest commitment. When you feel at your lowest, it’s you who has the ability to pick yourself back up again. I have begun to realise that beating myself over things that I can’t change aren’t important to me anymore, and I’m at a point in my life where I’ve never felt so happy. I changed once flaws, into things I love about myself. Thick thighs. Small boobs. Bad eyes- and anything else someone has criticised me for regarding my appearance. They’re all imperfections that I have accepted and are happy living with.

And my most overused personal favourite phrase regarding this topic; hashtag body posiiiii.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

————————-

Want 20% off your order at Coconut-Lane? Use the code ‘beccajayne20’ at the checkout to redeem…. go on! Why not treat yourself?

————————-
Connect:

Twitter: @beccaxjayne

Instagram: itsbeccajayne

Snapchat: itssbeccajayne

Bloglovin’: Click here

Facebook: Positive Plxnt

Feel free to drop me a tweet etc xo