I have recently seen a lot of people address this topic, and with myself going on a rant about this on Twitter the other week, I thought it would be fitting to engage my anger further in a blog post…
We seem to use the excuse, “boys will be boys” a lot when we talk about groping or touching women without consent. After turning 18 and going out ‘clubbing’ more, this has been an issue in which I have experienced personally- and overall disgusts me. Not just for my own personal space, but for other women too.
Being groped or touched without consent is extremely intimidating, vile, and above all; a violation on my own body. We seem to teach women that we should be ‘flattered’ by such behaviour because ‘we should like the male attention.’ But what if I don’t want male attention? Especially uncalled for attention. Because the thing is, it’s not just me. It’s my friends. It’s every other woman in the same room as me. It’s every other woman who may feel intimidated by such behaviour.
It’s 2017, and some men can’t take no for an answer. Either that or they go off on one.. “I didn’t want you anyway, it was only a bit of fun.” Well guess what? I didn’t want your ugly ass either but you still tried to give it to me. I don’t care if you’re drunk, off your face or anything in between. It’s time we stopped normalising groping or touching without consent and putting it down to ‘boys just being boys.’ Because where’s the progress?
I should not have to pretend that I have a boyfriend for you to stop touching me like you respect your male peers more than an innocent woman. I should not have to tell you to f**k off away from me because you can’t take no for an answer. I shouldn’t be put into a position where I, or anyone else, feels intimidated because a man can’t take no for an answer and then get abuse because I knocked him back. Once again, forgot your ego was more important than my own body.
I know this was a post full of pure ranting, but after seeing people address a similar issue; I felt like I needed to vent my anger out there. It’s sad that in 2017, I have to write a post about some men not taking ‘no’ for an answer because they feel like they have the right to touch me without consent. Reality check, you don’t and I will put you in your place if you do.
Love and happiness always,
14 thoughts on “When ‘no’ means ‘no.’”
This is so important! Great post!
Chloe || http://www.chloealicelily.co.uk
This post is powerful 🙂
Yes. Yes. Yes. This is such an important post!
Preach it girl!
Yes Yes 100% agree! Tell it how it is girl!
Sophia xx http://sophiawhitham.co.uk
This is never OK. Ladies, keep standing up for yourself. And raise your boys right to respect women.
By saying “boys will be boys” we are somehow giving them this privilege and not allowing them to grow up and understand they can’t always get what they want. It’s sad really. The amount of times, you’re scared while home from work or enjoying a day with your friends. Boys do not have the right over us x
i agree i agree i agree i agree i agree i agree i couldn’t agree more i agree
So well said! Keep seeing a lot of stories about blokes being down right disrespectful lately and it’s really starting to get my back up
Oh this is so true! Jfc, no means no.
Such an important post and so well written! I’ll definitely be sharing this around! x
Victoria | VictoriaaHelenn
100% agree, and well said… it’s a shame that this still needs explaining though 😦
Yes! This is still an issue that women still have to go through! I have found my voice, and easily tell people off whenever something like this happens to me, but its still frustrating that we have to keep vigilant at all times to make sure that no one touches us.
Melina | http://www.ivefoundwaldo.com
Phenomenal post! When I used to drink/go clubbing, guys would think it was okay to touch me up whilst I was on the dancefloor. One guy even proceeded to put his hand up my skirt. Luckily I had tights on so he didn’t get far but when I smacked his hand away, he told me I was frigid. In what world is that action deemed okay? He did not have my consent to attempt to touch me up! I think it’s brave for people to share their stories so others can learn from them!