Who I am now

“Hype That.” Over the past 4 months or so, I have undergone some major changes in my life which has helped shape and develop me as a person. It has been a whole collective of learning curves, and I haven’t finished learning yet.

I have been told by the people around me especially how much of a change they have seen in me since I have undergone this ‘change.’ Although my fundamental values of a person are the same, and I am still as happy and bubbly as I was 4 months ago; I feel like new life experiences have made me stronger and given me the experience I needed to become a better person and do better.

One thing I was always scared to do was push toxic people out of my life. I thought that if I did this, I would eventually be left with no one and end up having no friends at the end of the day. This could not be further from the truth. Cutting negative vibes out of my life is the best thing I ever did for myself. From cutting out friends who clearly aren’t “friends” anymore, to realising my own worth. I now know who I need surrounding me in my life- and like the title suggests… like it or lump it.

I won’t be the subject of someone’s constant abuse, or won’t be the subject of someone who constantly puts me down. I will not surround myself with someone that makes me feel any less of a person. I am a human, and I deserve to be treated and respected like one.

When it comes to my own confidence, I have hit a massive milestone and I couldn’t be prouder of myself. Although I have already given an insight into this in some of my previous blog posts, I went from being someone who physically hated their appearance (and beating themselves up for that), to someone who can step out of the house into public and say to myself, “You know what? I am quite confident in my appearance today.” 

When it comes to my mental health, I am getting better in some ways. I’m in the mindset now of I can conquer this. And I can, and I will. I am getting help, and I’m not ashamed of that anymore. I am happy, and I will confidently flaunt that. Every little thing I have overcome this year has made me stronger. From my generalized anxiety disorder getting worse, to putting myself back on track. From going through my first break-up, to bouncing back from that doing and being a better person. From getting rid of false friends because I know who is and isn’t good for me, my life and my health.

You either accept who I am now, or you don’t. It’s as simple as that. But who I am now is good for me, and has put me in a position in my life that I’m proud of. In a weird way, I am grateful for everything that life has thrown at me this past year. It’s part of my life journey, and it’s giving me the experience I need in order to develop in myself.

The moments that make me the proudest are those in which people who surround me tell me I look happier, tell me I’m doing well, or that I have changed for the better. It makes me realise that all my progress is worth it and although I don’t live to please others anymore, having their acknowledgement of my development is very humbling and something I can use as motivation to continue to do and be better.

This is not to say that the old me has gone. The old me is still here, and all the values I held 4 months ago are still the same. But, I’m more developed. I’m happier, and I’ve made changes to my lifestyle. The old fundemental parts of me are still around, I’m now just the “upgraded” version of who I was previously.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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